One day I asked myself, Who am I?

It was during the pandemic. During the lockdown staying home all day and not going out became our new normal, every day seems the same. It feels like I'm living the same day with a different date. I woke up in the morning, joined the online class, brushed my teeth with my phone in my pajama pocket. And of course, I had my breakfast during the class. 

I had classes till 4 p.m. After that, there's NSS, I've joined NSS, So I've to attend online events, help in organizing events. 

Like that, I spend my whole day in my small study room, which turned into my living room because I watch videos on Youtube during a short break between our classes, dining room because I always have my lunch in front of my laptop with my teacher explaining, and sometimes I doze off during classes so you know. I pretty much exist in that room. 

Like Harry Potter's address is The Cupboard Under The Stairs, my address would be, The Small Study Room Upstairs. 

Okay, my daily routine is so boring. So, I decided to make it different. 

But how can I make it different, that's the BIG QUESTION

So, I asked myself who am I?

 It's funny right!! but it changed a lot of things. 

If someone asks you, WHO ARE YOU? What would you say? 

Well, I'll tell them my name, maybe my father's name, or my age, which city I belong to.

I had another in class in five minutes, so I gave up on the question. And joined the next class. At the end of the class, our teacher asked us, do we want to pursue a career in the same subject or want to change it, what we will be doing after graduation? And a lot of other questions. Well, the class was fun actually. I asked myself seriously what I want.

After his class I knew one thing for sure, I don't want to study the same subject. No way. So, as I wanted to make my day a little different, I mustered up some courage and told my father that I don't want to study the same subject after graduation. 

I explained to him why? and he agreed at first but then asked me, " What do you want?" 

Umm... I don't know. I couldn't answer him.

He said, if you don't want to study this subject then what else do you want to study?

I really have no idea. What to say. I asked him to let me do what I want but I didn't know what I really want. 

I had a long conversation on this topic. This was the longest I ever had on what I want.

I ended up with a lot of questions, a bucket full of questions. 

Who am I?

What I want?

What I really want to be? and many more...

I couldn't sleep that day. I kept asking myself who am I? I know everything one can use to identify me but... Who really am I? I know the food I like, the color I like, and ... Wait, is it really all I need to know my true self? Is it enough or is knowing all these is appropriate to know me. Because if I go on shopping and the person I'm shopping with tell me this dress will look good on you, then I'll buy it. And done, I'm done with my shopping. 

I asked myself if someone come and tell you this is the real you, will I be able to accept it? 

Well I don't know myself how can someone else know who is real me. 

The only person who can answer this question is me.. 

It's still a mystery to me. But it's kind of amazing. This question makes me want to know myself more, focus on myself more. And I believe, I'll find my answer one day.

Have you ever asked yourself the same question? 

Have you found your answer? Or still, searching for? 

Tell me in the Comment box, I would love to hear :)